Never had I ever thought that it was possible to say thank you TOO OFTEN. I thought my (host) mother was just joking when she said that I had to pay her one yuan every time I said thank you (obviously she was kidding, although I did jokingly pay her twice), but then I learned that Chinese people seldom say thank you to close family. I learned that the “thank you” was in the heart. “Thank you” is a tool used to show people that you are not as close as you might think. While I tried to limit my “thank you’s” for a day or two, I think I ended up saying it MORE often. I was afraid that she would think I did not want to integrate into the family (and keep more distance) by saying thank you, but this was not the case. My mother has now embraced it and accepts my “thank you” as a form of love and appreciation.
I am so thankful for all the experiences and love that my family has provided me with. Despite the advice to say “thank you” less often, I will give several shout-outs and thank you’s throughout this blog as I have so much to be thankful for. I am not in this journey alone.
Overall, it was a great week that was marked by progress in multiple facets, including English class, extracurricular class, family relationship, and relationship with other Duke students. I have grown closer to my family, the Duke students, and the No. 9 students (during class and outside of class), which makes me content. As we will host our last English classes of the PROGRAM next week. I felt like the trip has just begun (we hit the midway point this week… it has honestly past so quickly) but we are already closing out a major phase of the program. I am beyond grateful for the time that I had with the students.
English class…
I experienced the most success in English class this week compared to the previous three weeks. This was actually the first FULL week of English class, during which we taught Mon-Friday without interruption (week 1 = no class for 8th graders on Thurs/Fri due to a school trip; week 2 = no class for Monday students due to heavy rain; week 3 = no class for Friday students due to Dragon Boat Festival; week 4 = EVERYONE). The themes for class this week were shopping and travel, but I stretched this a little to review related topics that I thought were helpful for the students to know. I started class by reviewing how to say big numbers and money amounts in English (I was told by another Duke student that numbers are grouped into four digits rather than three digits in China) followed by a review game. The students love friendly competition and it makes me laugh to see how competitive they get between each other. Then, we reviewed ways to express personal preference and comparisons by talking about pop culture references in partners (the Avengers and 蔡徐坤; he is a singer, rapper, dancer, and (maybe… depending on who you ask) basketball player… the kids go crazy whenever you mention his name LOL). We then practiced giving directions in English by having two teams compete to guide a blindfolded classmate to multiple balls as fast as possible. This game was a big hit! Lastly, I ended class with an interactive magic trick that the students seemed to enjoy.
Each class is a new experience. Although I follow the same lesson plan, I am never bored. Some classes request more explanation on certain topics while other classes take longer to play the games due to friendly banter and planning. I am energized by the enthusiasm that the students bring to class each day. They make me want to try my best because most of the students are giving me their best.
Next week, we will only have English class on Monday and Tuesday. *insert sad emoji here*. This means that I will never see my Wed-Fri English classes during our class time again, because the students will be busy preparing for standardized tests and class final exams. I took selfies with my classes to remember our shared experiences. The kids have been so welcoming, warm, brave, attentive, and engaging each week. I am thankful for this opportunity to learn with and from the No. 9 Middle School students.
I hope that I was able to teach them a fraction of what they taught me, which includes: how to be a kid again, how to not take yourself so seriously and laugh at yourself, how to compete for fun, how to be patient, how to speak up in class even when you are not confident, and how to make progress towards a better you. I thought about what I wanted to leave the students with this week for the classes that I will not see next week. Having real expectations, I thought that the students may not remember most of the English vocabulary or conversation structures learned during class. But what did I want them to remember? After much debate, I settled on “be confident.” I encouraged the students to be confident in everything they do, from speaking English, to taking tests, to performing an extracurricular, to taking a risk. I told them that they are amazingly talented individuals and that they all have a gift to contribute, and that being confident will allow them to share this gift with others. My biggest hope is that the students had fun learning English while taking away some new perspectives about America/Americans and being confident. :)
Extracurricular classes…
On Monday, film class was frustrating and stressful. Elizabeth and I have been working outside of class to record videos and transfer photos/videos from various sources (including No. 9 storage devices, Hsiaomei’s and Yanan’s album, and from other Duke students). The editing software that we are using is very particular, so while all the photos transferred without a problem, Elizabeth and I had to reconvert the videos several times so that they were in the right format. Who knew that AVI was the preferred format over MOV or MP4. Also, after transferring photos and videos to the computer, the editing software would not let the students interact with the media because it was not actually saved on the computer (we just uploaded it into the editing software). We did not have enough flashdrives on Monday to store each project on its own drive.
So, Monday felt like a bust as we were not adequately prepared to provide the groups with the resources they needed to edit and compile a film. However, Tuesday and Thursday progressed much more smoothly. Elizabeth and I reconverted all the videos and placed each project’s resources on its own flash drive (some No. 9 students and other Duke students lent us there flashdrives!) so that students could engage with the media and make serious progress on their films this week. Some students told us that they wanted to bring their projects home to work on them more. It made me happy to know that the students were enjoying the class and wanted to put together the best film possible.
One ongoing struggle in film class is keeping all students on task and preventing them from playing computer games. Each group (nine groups total; four-five students per group) has at least one person working diligently on the film. However, the other few students want to play computer games rather than help their groupmate edit the film. Elizabeth and I have encouraged the other groupmates to help select music or which media to use in the film. When encouragement is not strong enough to incentivize the other students to help the working student, Elizabeth and I have had to block their computers and ask them again to help on the film. This is less fun, because four people crowded around one computer can only do so much, while having access to multiple computers would allow for greater efficiency and creativity. There are only TWO more days (YES, ONLY TWO DAYS) of film class. If students do not finish their films by Tuesday, they will be asked to finish at home over the next two weeks. I am confident in each groups’ ability to produce a solid final video, and I am so excited to see each group’s hard work and creativity come together.
A huge shout-out to my friend Lu Peng, a No. 9 employee (IT), who has been our savior in this class. He has helped me and Elizabeth download video format converting software and has taught us how the “naughty” students take down the firewall to have free range on the internet even when we “lock” their computers. Thank you, Lu Peng, for stopping by at the end of every film class to see if you can help us in anyway.
Magic class was GREAT this week. The students learned another classic card trick (triumph style trick) this week, and they now have at least three tricks in their arsenal. I received some good news early in the week that students in the class will be able to perform close-up sleight of hand magic throughout the audience at the final performance as people arrive at their seats before the show. I am glad that the students will have an opportunity to perform what they have practiced, because magic (in my opinion) is far better and meaningful when you can perform for others. I think that magic, in addition to skill, requires interpersonal connection and confidence. It is an interactive artform that allows the magician to connect with the spectator in a unique manner. I hope that my students will perform will and feel proud of their accomplishment.
Family…
This week, I continued to strengthen my relationship with my family. :) I never felt like I was censoring myself during the first few weeks (not in terms of what I say, but how I act), but this week just felt more… natural. My siblings and I developed “secret” handshakes and had way too much fun spraying each other with playing cards (which they then made me clean up alone LOL). I enjoyed a nice breakfast with my mother on Friday and went walking with both my mother and father after dinner twice this week (a popular activity in China). After playing the worst game of Chinese Chess in my life on Wednesday (worse than the first game I played), I somehow managed to win against my father last night. He was proud of me, but also a little salty for losing (LOL). My family also knows how much I love nature walks, so we went to a scenic mountaintop park yesterday and explored. After a nice lunch, we went to the racetrack to watch different types of cars from multiple heats compete to qualify for a future race and went go-karting. I am so thankful for my family’s willingness to show me all of Zhuhai’s hidden gems and to provide me with meaningful and lifelong memories. :)
On Tuesday night, we went out to dinner with my father’s brother’s family. We have eaten with them before, but this was the first time that I met my sibling’s cousin, who studied for two years in graduate school at the University of Toronto. I enjoyed talking with the cousin about his experience in Canada/America and his perspective on the differences between Chinese culture and Canadian/American culture. We also talked about the benefits and shortcomings of both the Chinese and American education system. Both my father and my cousin expressed similar sentiments: the pre-university Chinese education system is stronger than America’s, but American universities are stronger and have more opportunities. I do not know enough about Chinese universities to add my personal comments. I plan to grab at least one more meal with the cousin before the end of the program. I look forward to picking his brain more about his experiences in and perspectives about China and abroad.
On Thursday night, I went walking with my parents in a local park. I thought about calling Bryant, Jinjie, or Yanan to join us on our walk (they live near the park), but decided to just enjoy the walk with my family. However, we ran into Yanan and her host mother, Tina (Tina is amazing!) in the park. Another shout-out to Yanan and Tina for translating both my sentiments and my parents’ sentiments to each other. The translator is truly a miracle worker and effectively communicates simple sentences and light ideas. However, it is more difficult to have detailed conversations with complex emotions through the translator. Yanan and Tina helped us communicate our appreciation to each other as well as the new perspectives that we have given each other. Thank you, Yanan and Tina! :)
Lastly, my (real) family met my (host) family for the first time on Saturday morning over FaceTime. My mom actually cried tears of joy after talking with my (host) mother, because she was able to witness my (host) mother’s love and warmth that I have been telling her about for the past three weeks. I am so happy that my families were able to meet. I hope that they will be able to meet in person someday. I am thankful for the unconditional support and love that both families have provided me throughout this experience.
Duke students…
I love this cohort of Duke students. In previous blogs, I have talked about how we have a great group dynamic vibe; we vibe easily as a whole. There have been a few small conflicts between the Duke students throughout the trip, but all those conflicts have been overcome and relationships have been strengthened. This week, Bryant and I (huge thanks to him! I love this guy) facilitated a group meeting at which we talked about addressing issues before they boil into bigger problems. Everyone was receptive to the idea, and I feel like we all left the meeting (we talked in partners about how we have been feeling and then opened up the floor for a group-wide discussion) feeling even better than before about our group’s ability to talk openly, manage difficulties, and embrace our time together.
Thank you to Alexander for challenging me to be better; your passion for teaching and for your students’ growth radiates to the rest of the Duke students and makes us want to give our all in English class, extracurricular class, and interacting with the students. Also, thank you for being patient with me when you teach me Chinese; I love learning from you. :)
Thank you to Andrew for having the most random, spontaneous, and deep conversations about literally anything (I do this all the time with friends at home, so you are experiencing the true #WylinWes); you make me feel safe and I know that my opinions are heard. Also, thank you for thinking I am funny; your laugh makes me laugh and makes me happy. :)
Thank you to Bryant for initiating and facilitating the group discussion with me; you are a natural leader with a special ability to engage people’s attention and command their interest. Also, thank you for always making me smile and laugh; you are the sun that brightens my day. :)
Thank you to Elizabeth for being my rock and saving grace in Film class; not only are you able to communicate with the students when I am not, but you also keep me grounded whenever I begin to feel frustrated at the editing software. Also, thank you for all that you have done to correspond with No. 9 administrators about the final performance; I often try to put too much on my plate, but you have kept me balanced and fair. :)
Thank you to Evan for always leading by example and asking the best questions; I hope to be as inquisitive as you someday and to lead a group so effortlessly without verbal command. Also, thank you for showing me your favorite Asian snacks and restaurants; I admire how deeply you have engaged with the local culture (again, leading by example)! :)
Thank you to Jillian for your willingness to change the content of your acting class just so film class could have another video in the final performance; your generosity and concern for others is so admirable. Also, thank you for saying things as they are; I appreciate your honesty and forwardness about difficult topics. :)
Thank you to Jinjie for being real with me and having difficult conversations about our insecurities; you are a great listener and a true friend whom I look forward to talking with at breakfast every day. Also, thank you for all your jokes and lightheartedness; “our love can make miracles.” :)
Thank you to Karen for leading by example by pouring your whole heart into your extracurricular class; I do not know anyone else who cares as much as you do about the success of your students’ dance. Also, thank you for being so thoughtful and asking me how I am feeling; you always know when it is the right time to check-in. :)
Thank you to Kristie for making me feel comfortable in my own skin early in the program; the uncontrollable laughter that we shared at the first dinner in Zhuhai made me feel truly comfortable with the group. Also, thank you for sharing my “lack-of-awkwardness” sentiment; continue to do you and be yourself, always. :)
Thank you to Shelsea for facilitating a moving and eye-opening reflection on identity and privelege this week; your passion for the topic resonated within me and made me CHECK my privelege regularly this week. Also, thank you for showing me how to be direct with the No. 9 students; you have shown me that it is okay to stand by my opinion even when others try to challenge me. :)
Thank you to Tessa for showing me how to manage emotions and overcome challenges when it would be easier to be stressed; you were thrown several curve balls this week, and I admire how quickly you were able to adapt and respond to each new request. Also, thank you for being the biggest fan of my magic tricks; it is people like you who make magic worth it for me. :)
Thank you to Yanan for your fearless leadership and extreme patience; I hope to be as diligent, inquisitive, interested, and thorough of a leader as you are. Also, thank you for talking with me about Chinese villages, neuroscience, and what connects us as people; I hope that you can feel “alive” every day. :)
Thank you… thank you… thank you to Hsiaomei for making me a better person with every interaction; I respect you so much and I cherish every drop of wisdom you provide. Also, thank you for being my protector, mother, teacher, friend, and counseling service all in one; you are the water, soil, and sun that has allowed this program to grow and prosper into everything it has become. :)
Lastly, thank you to everyone who took the time to read this blog. :) I look forward to seeing you again next week!