As I write this blog, I still can’t believe that our DukeEngage program is essentially over. Yesterday, we had our final performance, which was an enormous success (!!!) and after a few more days in China, we’ll be heading back to the United States.
This last week leading up to the final performance was filled with stress. Aside from practice for at least four hours each day, we also had to put together a video background for our act, figure out lighting, and help organize costumes and make-up. The video background was probably the most time-consuming part, especially because I have little to no experience in editing videos. I spent hours scouring the internet for appropriate (and free) stock videos and trying to line it up with the music. In the end, I was lucky: for whatever reason, mine was the only background that played without issues during the dress rehearsal, which I am supremely thankful for because I would have no idea how to fix any problems.
While making the background was likely the most time-consuming part, figuring out lighting was probably the most frustrating. During our first run-through with lighting during the dress rehearsal, the lighting technician completely ignored everything I had typed out, most likely because he didn’t even know such a document existed. Later, I went up to talk to him to figure out what happened, and he told me to bring my kids back later to set the lighting. I agreed, because I figured it would only take a short while: all I needed were four spotlights at the beginning, red lights in the middle between songs, and one more spotlight. After the dress rehearsal, I gathered up all my kids and had them get ready—but singing was before us figuring out there lighting, so I told them to wait for a bit.
We ended up waiting for around an hour, if not more. When singing had finally ended, I hurriedly regathered my kids (who had scattered around after waiting so long) and hustled them on stage, only to be told that the lighting technician had gone to eat lunch. At this point, I was so frustrated, tired, and hungry (because I also hadn’t eaten lunch, as I was waiting for my kids) that I actually started crying. For me, that was probably the low point of the entire week—not because the lighting was so important to me, but because I had such a simple request and at the time, I felt like the groups were not being treated fairly and me and my students were not being shown any consideration or respect. I felt a little better after crying it out, as well as getting some food in my body. I know that everyone that day was very busy and had their own troubles to worry about. In the end, I was lucky enough to be able to test my lighting.
The actual performance itself was amazing. My kids all! Smiled! And our lines were actually mostly straight! I’m so incredibly proud of all of them, and everyone who saw the show complimented my students on their beautiful dance. Even though our lighting was ultimately still wrong, it didn’t matter in the end; they danced wonderfully, and I had a great time with them. I have so many videos from every possible angle that I will cherish forever. I also made sure to get a group picture with them in costume, as well as individual selfies with as many of my kids as possible.
My only regret in regards to the performance is that more of the students’ families, classmates, and friends could not have come. To be honest, I still believe that it wasn’t worth it to have such a big, expensive venue. While the final performance did look very professional, the audience was very small, and the students didn’t feel as much excitement or a sense of accomplishment. In the end, who are my students performing for, if not their friends and family? Furthermore, the performers weren’t even allowed to watch the show, or even the rehearsals (which they were always told they would be), and in the end, most of them were sitting around backstage playing on their phones after the performance. Personally, I wish that we had a smaller, more family-style venue, such as at No. 9, because only a performance like that would truly be for the sake of the students. In the end, our performance was great—but I hope that in future years, the DukeEngage and No. 9 performance can return to its more family-oriented roots, and think about who exactly this performance is for.
I think it still hasn’t sunk in for me that that was probably my last time ever seeing my dance students again. I still feel like next week I’ll walk into the dance practice room and they’ll all be there waiting for me to dance together. It’s crazy that it’s all over now, but I hope they look back upon their performance proudly and remember our time together fondly, especially those who have never danced before. More than anything, I hope my children were truly, genuinely happy—because they gave me more happiness than I could ever have imagined.
To my fellow Duke students, Professor Hsiao-Mei Ku, Yanan, the No. 9 staff, and most importantly, the No. 9 students: thank you for an unforgettable summer filled with growth and friendship. It was an honor to work together—and now, it’s time for our final bows.
Comments