I woke up Monday morning to the sound of nothing. I expected to hear a little hustle and bustle in the kitchen since my host family told me that they eat breakfast at 7:10 am and it was currently 7, but there was nothing. Despite this, I got up and started to get ready, and then I looked at my phone. I had about 30 WeChat messages from both my host family and the Duke students and staff. The messages informed me that apparently this day would be classified as a “red rainstorm” day, which meant that the weather was too dangerous to go outside. Therefore, there was no school. Although I was a little bummed since it was supposed to be the first day of extracurricular classes, I was also slightly relieved because that meant 1) more sleep and 2) more time to prepare my classes.
But that whole day I did neither of those two things. My family still had breakfast early and then after I was instructed by my six-year old sister Amy to sit at the table to play a game with her. At the time, I did not know the rules to this game called “Go,” and when I asked through the translator app if she could teach me how to play, she responded by saying “Figure it out yourself. Watch and learn.”
To be honest, I’m not quite sure she understood how to play either, but I do know that she was not putting up with my complete lack of knowledge. She couldn’t seem to understand that I didn’t know what this game was at all and had no idea how or where to even start. It got to a point where she was so frustrated that I wasn’t getting it and that she wouldn’t be able to explain it to me, that she started crying. She cried A LOT, and there was nothing I could do or even her family could do to calm her down. All because I didn’t know how to play one simple game or communicate to her why I couldn’t.
This moment in particular made me really wish I could speak Chinese and made me realize how difficult the language barrier would make things going forward. If I wanted to connect with my family and establish a sister-sister, mother/father-daughter relationship, how was I supposed to do that through communication on an app that translated correctly only 25 percent of the time? If I could speak Chinese, there wouldn’t be that awkward silence at dinner where I frantically try to think of things to ask them, but by the time my app translates it, the conversation has already moved on. There wouldn’t be the uncomfortable encounter on the elevator when someone turns to me and says something in Chinese and my host sister has to answer for me. There wouldn’t be that ever-present feeling that they are talking about me while I sit on the couch and watch TV with the little one. It would just be so much easier and the relationships would feel so much more authentic and meaningful. Even at school, I am so jealous of the other students who can speak fluently because they are able to connect so quickly with the kids and can explain confusing concepts to them so much easier. I had anticipated that this would be a challenge for me, but I did not realize how much it would affect me. Even though I am attempting to learn as much Chinese as possible, there is only so much I can do in such a short amount of time. My goal now is to try and engage in more activities that don’t always require speaking so that I can bond with my family without having to worry about not understanding. But in the meantime, I will try to make the most of it all.
The day after the game incident, extracurricular classes started for the first time, and I have been pleasantly surprised with how my jazz class is doing since then. The kids are very excited to learn, and I can only hope that they, for the most part, understand me. They are all very talented and much more advanced than I had imagined them to be. Thus on the first day, I realized that my original plan would not work because of the number of people and their ability level, and I quickly had to shift around.
The next few days were like this for me also. A lot of unpredictable situations came up that required quick thinking, adaptability, and flexibility. That has seemed to be the common theme of this trip so far, whether this be in our English classes, situations with the host family, or even just on the streets. We all seem to be learning how to readjust very quickly, but it’s not always easy.
Despite this, the week was filled with tons of other memorable activities! On Thursday the boys played a basketball game against some of the community members, and it was extremely exciting. They really gave them a run for their money, but we ended up losing in the end ;(
On Friday, it was Evan’s birthday, and we threw him a Hawaiian themed surprise birthday party. At night we went to see Godzilla with our host siblings, and it made me feel like a real family for the first time. It was very wholesome and made my heart full. These people had become my family in such a short amount of time; I was so grateful to have such special people in my program and to be able to get along with them so well. Last, we visited the Autism Center in Zhuhai, and the children were so sweet. It was very beautiful to see the children so happy and how happy that made us in return. We’ll never see these children again, but it was amazing that we were able to share these special moments together.
Here are some takeaways from this week: Chinese supermarkets have absolutely everything but are slightly scary. Milk tea with boba is hands down the best thing ever. I have never been itchier in my life and need more bug spray always. Keeping up on WeChat is one of the most difficult things to ever do. Wuthering Heights is a pretty decent movie actually, but it might be better to just watch nothing when that’s the only show that is in English on TV and your host sibling either could care less about British people in carriages in love with their brothers or just did not understand the translation at all. And lastly, time goes by faster the more you want it to slow.
I cannot believe week 2 is already over, but I am looking forward to the upcoming week!
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